Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Deviant Artist Spazzy19/Female/United States Groups :iconapocalypse-uprising: Apocalypse-Uprising
Join the Uprising!
Recent Activity
Deviant for 3 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 275 Deviations 4,607 Comments 7,503 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

This is all my awesome, cool, sweet, SPAZZTASTIC ART!!!!! OC's, Stories, PHOTOS!!! WHAT COULD BE BETTER!!?? I don't know how i'm gonna top this? Maybe with HOT FUDGE! HAHAHA:la::squee::nuu::dummy::icondancinggirplz::D

Favourites

All my favs, ranging from Anime to movies to cartoons and video games and...well everything else that's just plain random!:D

Friends

Groups

I need to vent. The proper way cannot be dealt with a measly drawing or a story to get my mind off it. No. I needed closure. The very thing that put me in this situation in the first place. A stress-reliever of sorts. I do it for that purpose, to get my mind off troubles of the day or the simple bottled up emotions about to burst. But you seem to think the opposite. I would assume you would be the same as me, knowing your life seems to be much worse on your end. Mine is fine apparently; its the annoying little ticks in the back of my head that make me snap. But how would you know. I don't dump my problems to prolong a hello because this is the only chance I get to immerse myself into this separate reality. Isn't it the same with you?

Again, I assume. I assume this would be your only break, your only chance for a world apart from yours that seemed to be so horrid I pity you. But who am I kidding. We both have our place in the real world. We both need to do things with our life apart from this silly fantasy that we feel and care so deeply about. When I realize you're not there, I try to get my mind off it. Try to watch a show that hadn't been brought up nor me willing to do so at the thought of it being ruined in such a manor I wouldn't want to lay eyes on it again. I try to find a different way to fill my void. Every chance however is futile. I still think about it. Still think about what to do next. What to say next. What event, chapter, arc that would be interesting enough for this pitiful little story to stay alive.

But who am I kidding. It's endless. A vicious cycle of beloved characters leaving but coming back again to repeat the twist of fate. I tried to end it; in more ways than one. Countless times. Endless measures to take to extremes that only fuel your creativity to continue on, to bring the happy memory back again by any means necessary... and I find myself doing the same. It always leaves off on a negative note. Then prolonging to days on end. During which time I think of long term events that can right the wrong that was done. Like I said, a vicious cycle that has not only ate away the thrill of talking to another on a similar subject, reveling precious creations, parts of my soul to another so passionately it inspires so much more. No. It eats away at my soul. So much that I can't sleep. I spend hours thinking of what will happen next. How my events will intertwine with yours in a favorable way. Yet, upon showing, they only clash and leave me more confused than I was before. Eating away at a new hole that was formed.

I'm acting childish I know. Getting angry at a measly thing like this. I hate this part of me. I snap at others aching for a chance of redemption with you. It hurts me more than its hurts them, and apparently you. I try to be kind, I try to listen to your venting when you need to let it out. But I do not like when that kindness is taken advantage of and stepped on. Ripped out, stepped on, then put back again to do the same thing over again and again... and again. I know you have problems, so do I. I just feel the need to keep them to myself and express them the only way I know how without hurting anyone physically or mentally. It has just gone too far. Countless tries, endless tribulations and nothing to show for it but a moody attitude, a rage quit, a cry then the sliver of happiness thinking it will all be over and better only to have it happen all over again. Vicious cycle. A vicious cycle that needs to stop... But I can't even bring myself to do that.     

The subtle hits I leave are apparently too subtle, and I doubt this will even be seen anyway. But who am I kidding. I could never say this to your face, you'd take it the wrong way then I'd go back at it with reassurance. You'd act cool and play it off but I can tell by your style I hurt your feelings. You think you know me, I know you too. Yes I consider you a friend. Yes it is something precious to me. Yes it would be nice to meet up one day and talk about normal stuff that has nothing to do with this. A chance at reality. A wish and subtle promise I've drilled into your head. Maybe it will come true, but I cannot see the future. Yup, you have it pretty bad. I hear that way too much. It's getting old. I'm not meaning to be hostile, just getting my feelings out there. And I don't care if this goes unanswered. I just needed to vent in a way different that I normally do. Don't be alarmed, I'm really okay. Just needed to get the word out.

And back to the cycle I go.  

deviantID

thenumba1spaz's Profile Picture
thenumba1spaz
Spazzy
Artist
United States
Name: Spazzy or Sam (what ever you people like)
Age: 3-10-96 (19)
Favorite Color: Blue
Favorite Mythical Creature: Werewolf
Favorite Animal: Wolf
Favorite Movie: Spirited Away
Favorite Band: Gorillaz (duh!)
Personal Quote: Werewolves are people too!
Favorite Holiday: Halloween (why, cuz it's awesome!)
Favourite cartoon character: Wolf and Totoro
Cartoon Crush: Iggy (Maximum Ride) and 2D (Gorillaz) Soul (Soul Eater)

I'm just like any other ordinary person.... But, that's a BIG understatement! I'm spontaneous, fun loving, happy all the time, funny, a spaz, out going, adventurous, unique and a bunch of other stuff! Basically, I'm a awesome, unique person in my own little world.:D I'll be a friend to anyone. Cuz I'm, well, thenumba1spaz! I am fun. I am awesome. I am SAM!

Vanellope Fan Button by ButtonsMaker Soul Eater 'Soul' Stamp by dn-revengeKagerou Project Stamp by YugureAkas
wreck-it ralph stamp by Pharaoh-InkWreck It Ralph: Vanellope Stamp by DIA-TLOA Soul Eater - Stamp by KizushikLucy (Elfen Lied) Fan Button by ButtonsMaker
Rin Okumura Stamp by SoulEaterEvans13 Durarara Celty Stamp by erjanksDurarara Shizuo Stamp by erjanksblackstar yahoo- stamp by mr-tiaa
Interests

AdCast - Ads from the Community

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconemerald-depths:
Emerald-Depths Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you very much for faving "Spirit of the Forest." :thanks:

I'm glad you liked it. :dance:
Reply
:iconthenumba1spaz:
thenumba1spaz Featured By Owner 3 days ago
No problem :D it was very beautifully done! I love anything forestry; it's just awesome atmosphere. :love:   
Reply
:iconmad4cats:
Mad4Cats Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Happy Late Birthday
Reply
:iconthenumba1spaz:
thenumba1spaz Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015
Awww thank you ^^
Reply
:iconmad4cats:
Mad4Cats Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Hehe
Reply
:iconxits2dcrazy:
xits2dcrazy Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2015
happy birthday for tomorrow my awesome friend^^
Reply
:iconthenumba1spaz:
thenumba1spaz Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2015
Awwww thank you!~ :D You remembered!! BTW love your Sonic Cosplay 
Reply
:iconxits2dcrazy:
xits2dcrazy Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2015
thankyou^^ im thinking about doing a five nights at freddy cosplay in future. what do you think?
Reply
:iconthenumba1spaz:
thenumba1spaz Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2015
Oh wow XD Sure! I say go for it. Hey, have you ever heard of a show called RWBY? 
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconxits2dcrazy:
xits2dcrazy Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2014

Tag, quality deviant, you’re it! Quality doesn't mean that you have a lot of followers, or a lot of messages. It means that you’re nice to other people, and you deserve to be happy. If you get this message, someone is telling you that they love you as you are, and they don’t care how much followers you have. Send this to 10 deviants who deserve it. If you break the chain, nothing will happen. But it’s just good to let someone know that you love them

Reply
Add a Comment: